Wednesday, 14 October 2009

From Dumped to Dating


So start of a new blog. I’ve decided to start a new one rather than add to the old one as I feel the old one is now over as I have entered a new chapter in my life. Plus the previous one was when I was at an emotional low and I know some people were upset reading some of the stuff on there so decided time for a new positive one!

If you haven’t read the previous one then I will give you a quick (and I mean quick) overview of the last 6 months… I should warn you in advance I am no literary genius, English was my worst subject ever so expect bad grammar, spelling and punctuation! What it is is just an honest account of my dailing ramblings…

So was dumped pretty spectacularily at the end of March 2009 by “he who shall not be named”! Very Harry Potter I know (going to stick with it as it was indeed Harry Potter that brought us together! - again long story see previous blog) but even now saying the name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Other versions of his name are “The Turd” (my own personal fave coming courtesy of one of my close male friends) “Fuckwit” (my own endearing term for (and I use this phrase loosely) the man in question. “Sperm Donor” as he gave me my lovely daughter. Anyhow I am sure you are all getting the jist as to my feelings here. Anyhow dumped at 3 months pregnant, no warning nothing, just an exit one day whilst I was at work with a parting comment of “Hope you die whilst giving birth” charm personified huh? Anyhow his exit was a result of his inability to comit to our relationship on the grounds of “I don’t want another child” which really was a cover for “I want to go back to my wife” Now please don’t think I was one of those woman having an affair – I wasn’t, he and I lived together and had lifelong plans, I apparently mucked them up by being pregnant. So off he went, packed his life up in one afternoon and one trip in the convertible that was that. I went through horrendously dark parts of life after that. Questioned can I actually go ahead with this baby? Can I cope on my own? How am I ever going to mend a broken heart? And the biggest thread running through those months – “how can I ever survive without him?” I know I know I can see you all screaming at your keyboard right now but what you don’t understand is that I had a rare medical condition – it was called “gullableitis” and if any of you have ever suffered from this you will be aware that there is no cure! Gullable that maybe he will come back, gullable that you can win him back, gullable as to what you thought your past was! Gullable as to what you did to make him leave. I suffered from this for a number of months… Embarrassing to admit now.

Gosh I did promise to make this part short – not happening is it?! Anyhow cut long story, I cried A LOT, and I mean A LOT, some days it never stopped and I really didn’t know how to pull myself through. As most of my closest friends will testify to I was well and trully broken and yet I still loved this man, how is that bloody possible? It’s simply not (unless you have gullableitis of course) I wont even go into the unspeakable things this man done to me over the last 6 months and the unspeakable torture of working together (thanks Employers for that joy) if you want that info see previous blog. All I can now say is the day that I pushed my daughter out of me was the day that it all turned around and this man vanished from my thoughts as quickly as he came into them. I know I will never be free of him whilst she is here and that all the complicated formalities I now have to go through will keep him at the forefront of my mind, but I am free of him emotionally which is all that matters. So its time to start my new blog, time to get rid of the negativity and start afresh with the positivity. The new blog takes affect now and is:

From Dumped to Dating!

1 comments on "From Dumped to Dating"

Anonymous said...

Gives us hope this does

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