Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Enter Date 1 - Mr Blah


Meeting is taking place in Morningside – 8pm at Café Grande. Text my lovely non pc friend A to tell her my whereabouts – always got to do that in case I meet a serial killer and go missing! Get there and am parking my car and some random on the other side of the road is waving at me very enthusiastically. Surely this cannot be my date? As fate would have it, he is… Great. Still polite that I am I continue. Park the car walk over. Now whats the etiquette now? Do you just smile? Do you shake hands? Do you air kiss? Was just pondering what was going to be my signature first move when in he comes for the kill with a huge hug and kiss full on. Slightly taken aback by this and stumble back towards the kerb. Now in 6 inch heels this could be catastrohpic! He grabs a hold of me to stop me falling – brilliant!

So I sit and have coffee. I learn he is 37, two kids, divorced 3 years ago, lives with 2 flat mates. He isn’t actually that bad looking but has something quite not right with his teeth which I just can’t pinpoint. I have a thing about teeth. They need to be right. I could never date someone with bad teeth – hey wait a minute I hear you say I did!! And yes I did. Voldemort had bad teeth, must have just blocked that one out! Conversation all very polite and all that but there is just no spark there. Do you get a spark the first time you meet someone? Please tell me you do otherwise I am in this for the long haul….. So I smile politely and wait until what I think is an acceptable time to stay out on first date is (1 hour in this case) and I leave. Lovely guy, just not for me. Driving down the road and the text comes in to say “hey Sam had a lovely night, would love to see you again” gulp I am so not good at the token response text. So what do I do? Bloody reply saying “hey thanks, I had a nice time too” what a fucking lie! How the hell do I get out of that now?? I’m thinking maybe the texts may die down and it will just peter out. Oh no, it doesn’t, he texts back I respond etc and all of a sudden I have given him my Messenger details. For god’s sake woman get a grip!

Get home, get my jammies on, climb into bed thankful that now in my own sanctuary and no one can take that away from me. The invasion of texts continue.. Note to self “grow a set”

Lights oot!

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