Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Enter the Lush Monster


Well its Sunday, I’m faffing about, been up super early even though date not until 7.30pm – made even worse by the clocks going back – gosh I really do have it bad huh!
 
So need to keep busy, its my friends birthday so I am going to pop out and see her and spend some time there and then come back and get organised. I’ve already commenced operation defluffing (probably been a bit too severe, and hey that’s probably a bit too much information also!) so I am good to go. I have to say I am super nervous. I texted him last night just to confirm everything was still on for tonight and never got a response so hey I may be get stood up anyway….
 
7pm I totter off to the bus stop. Now I use that term in the best possible sense. I live half way up a hill and in killer heels I can tell you walking down a hill is not the easiest. Autumn has taken its toll on Edinburgh already and as I leave the house I can see leaves everywhere. Now I know looking at those clumps of bundles hidden on the path that they are a guise for a bundle of a wet slidy mass that will result in me landing on my arse so I opt to walk down the road. Why do men find the need when they see a female walking down the road to peep their horn and shout something out their window? And the type of men we are talking about here are those that are past their sell by date and would not have a hope in hell! Is it something guys that you are taught at boys school or something? Let me tell you – it does not turn us girls on! Bit like a 70 year old driving a Ferrari! Mid life crisis.
 
Anyhow I manage to get myself to the bus stop (yes I am getting on a bus – credit crunch and all that) money better spent on cocktails than taxi’s I feel, and notice that the next bus not due for another 15 mins. Fine its only 7 o’clock so will still make it on time. Start having a wee surf on my iphone (how did we ever survive in the human race without such equipment) and there’s a guy sitting on the seat in the bus stop. He strikes up a conversation.
 
“Is that the iphone, how you finding it?”
“Great” I reply – “Couldn’t live without it”
“Yes they are really cool aren’t they? Where you off to?” he asks
“eh the Livingroom, what about you?” I reply
“Down Leith to meet my friends” he responds and then adds “I’m feeling a bit tired though and its hard to go out on a Sunday especially after being out all day yesterday”
The chat continues like this, all very pleasant and I can tell he’s flirting with me (guess it really is dark then huh??) anyhow bus comes and the conversation stops, he gets on before me. “Child” please he asks the driver!
 
OMG – surely not! I truly have seen and heard it all!
 
I sit on the bus pissing myself laughing all the way into town….. Christ I could have given birth to this guy!
 
Text comes in from the LM – “hey hun that’s me here, having a drink already, what do you want?” eh you? Is that too obvious lol? “red wine please, LARGE”
 
So I get there, walk in and he’s at the bar. I stand and stare for a few minutes before walking up to him, obviously just taking in the wardrobe choice, I approve… nice jeans and a shirt. Nothing dodgy here, all good to go, I can continue.. Walk up to him, he smells amazing, he gives me a kiss, god I just want to sleep with him there and then! What the hell is wrong with me! Notice that the guy who is serving is the same guy who commented last week that I am never in there with the same guy twice, I try to turn away – nope he’s having none of it. “Hey Sam, how are you? Nice to see you again, and so soon!” I grimace at him… LM comments “Gosh he’s quite friendly isn’t he – do you come here often?” eh “not that much really” Aussie barman retaliates with a “usual tab to be set up then?” I really want the ground to swallow me up… bastard he will pay for that one day…. I mumble something under my breath and say to LM – “shall we find a seat?”
 
Find a nice wee cosy booth and its all dimly lit with candles etc and I find myself strangely just staring at his mouth as he speaks, it’s a lovely mouth and I am imagining all sorts – time to snap out of it…..Must drink more wine… not good though. A few glasses of wine down and I am finally started to relax, he’s really good company. He asks if I want to go through to the restaurant for something to eat. Now I never ever eat in front of someone on a first date – ever! So I’m kinda struggling with an answer to that one but I am really enjoying myself so I say “yes that would be great” Brilliant you moron, how the hell are you going to get through that I am shouting inside my head! Is it just me or is it normal to feel so bad about eating in front of someone you don’t know? I hate it as I worry about dripping food on myself, or for a random piece of food to get stuck in my teeth and your date too polite to point it out, or even worse a crusty bit letft over on the side of your mouth, which again your date is too polite/scared whatever to tell you. Bloody great – I’ve only gone and done it now.  Strangely enough its not bothering me, mmm why is that? So we head through to the restaurant and I am drinking more and more wine. It’s starting to take its effect. Now normally drink make me more likely to want to jump someone but its having the opposite effect here – what the hell is that all about? Mind is slightly confused now. What is happening here?
 
So we eat dinner, share a pudding, what the hell???!!! Fighting over the last bit too, Christ this is bad… and then go back to the bar afterwards. I am really enjoying myself. After everything that has happened over the last couple of years and all the disasterous dates of late I am thinking I actually feel normal! I feel like I’ve moved on and I am just a normal girl, out here having a normal night out – it feels great!
 
We sit there until the bar closes and we are literally thrown out. We go outside and there is no “do you want to come back to mine?” from either of us, there is no awkwardness nothing. We both just hail taxis and I get in mine and him into his and head home. Great night. I text him to say I had a really good night and thanks for dinner. He texts back saying “me too, really enjoyed myself, sweet dreams, see you at work tomorrow” awwww how sweet. I collapse in bed and fall into a deep sleep.

2 comments on "Enter the Lush Monster"

Nic said...

Oh this sounds very exciting - what was it like to see him at work again, not sure I'd feel awkward or as if sharing a 'naughty' secret lol!

Secretshopgal on 3 November 2009 at 14:09 said...

well Nic Im just about to update on it - but its a bit weird to say the least

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