Sunday, 15 November 2009

OMG where do I begin???


Well I've been fighting through a whole raft of emotions this week and came to the conclusion I'm well and trully a lost cause!

So lets go back to last Sunday. The date with the infamous Frenchman! Conversations leading up to Sunday were getting so good that he actually removed his profile from said dating site as he trully believed we had clicked, in reality I think we did too. One night I spent hours on the phone with him chatting about everything. It was so refreshing to be completely up front about everything and not hold anything back, trully refreshing. Its been a very long time. So the texts and emails and calls continued and I really liked them, really! So Saturday night I had my annual halloween party at home and that went well, bit too well to the extent that I was still up drinking shots at 5am in the morning... thanks to you two boys - you know who you are, you are a bad influence on me. Now there's a lot to be said about going to bed for 6 and leaving your house is a state of chaos, and trust me it was in a real state. I couldnt sleep at that time in the morning, too many things racing through my head. Date 1 - scheduled for 1.30 with Mr Ooh La La, date two with the Lush Monster who I was picking up at 7 at his house. I couldn't decide what I was more excited about, if I could only shift this hangover it would help. So I decide I can't sleep, get up and start tidying. OMG 3 hours in and barely touched the sides.... aaaarrrghhh still need time to prepare for the date. Two of my friends have stayed over and they are wanting to go to that big Golden Arches place for hangover food. So we go there - and I am actually sititng curling my hair in the car as I drive, getting a lot of weird looks, anyhow due to meet Mr Ooh La La at 1.30, there is no way that is going to happen. I call him to tell him running late and he's like "no worries hun just take your time" now on top of being late I did not account for Edinburgh city centre to be soooo busy. 2.30 I am still trying to park my car.. not a good sign, hour late for date - gotta give him ten out of ten for waiting I suppose. Finally get there ten mins later and walk into the bar. My good friend told me recently that within 5 secs alone you can tell if you want to pursue anything further - that 5 sec rule definately applied. As soon as I saw him I knew, I just knew it was going to be the longest date of my life... Nothing there, absolutely nothing.. How the hell can you talk to someone through so many conversations and think this is great and then meet them and no way.!

So we sit have coffee, then another and then I am like sorry I need to leave now. This was about an hour in - he was like "aww really, I am really enjoying your company and want to stay out" I responded with "sorry but I have other plans". "Can we go for a walk" he asks. "sure" I hear some voice respond - was that really mine?? Anyhow we walk down into Princes Street and he keeps on putting his hand on my back and rubbing it and being touchy feely, I am not comfortable with that at all, I try to shrug it off but he is having none of it. "I'm going to my car now" I tell him - "cool I will walk you to there" eh no its fine really! He insists. Great. So he walks me to my car and lingers there. I open the door, he comes round and sticks his head in. No no no please dont try and kiss me - too late he has me pinned against the seat. Now I am sorry but If I tried to kiss someone and they were turning their head away I would take the hint - would you not? Not him, guess he must like the struggle. I am sitting there pinned against the seat lips pursed - there is no bloody way I am opening my mouth, breathing getting slightly more difficult now so I wriggle my head out the way but still he's going for it - take the bloody hint man! At this point I think right I'm going to have to push you off me - put both hands on his chest and push him off me. "are you sure you can't stay out longer" he asks me.. Bloody hell definately not! "no sorry Im leaving" and I try to shut the door, oh no he comes in again. I practically take his nose off as I quickly pull my door shut! quickly into reverse and speed off - eww eww eww eww eww - seriously ewww... Why oh Why oh Why me? What the hell have I done wrong in a past life to deserve any of this... nothing is what... Ewww ewww (have I already said that?) but seriously I just want to get home, stripped naked and jump in the shower and wash off this man who has invaded my space! 2 mins in the text comes in - "hey hun thanks so much for a lovely afternoon, I think you realised there was something in there for me, I would really like to see you again some point this week, I can nip out to yours" Now I have no intention of answering this text on the grounds of a) it aint gonna happen and b) Im driving but oh no 5 mins delay is not stopping him, another text comes in "sorry just read my last text and it was a bit full on but thought I should just tell you that I fancy you rotten" OMG a 40 year old saying I fancy you rotten - christ I have never heard that since I was 15! Is there no end to this... Texts continue all night and you know me by now I am polite I will respond but not until tomorrow.... I have LM to contend with first.... Mmmmmm

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